I went on a date with Finance guy and that was okay. Met at this swanky place Patroon on 42nd and then went to dinner followed by more drinks. He's cute, put together, and into baseball. We played nintendo at his place. No worries, we didn't do anything. I left before it got serious. Besides, I knew I had another date to go to the following day. I'm keeping myself occupied and hoping not to set myself me up for anything serious, even though deep inside I do want something more stable. So I go on my next date with Polish #2 and find out he works for the same company as I do. He's decent not too cute, maybe a 5 out of 10. He's a nice guy. So we talk over wine and beer at a local pub in east village and I cut it short cuz French guy is texting me. Yes I said it "French Guy" is sorta back in the picture but not really in the picture. I realized that he's okay being by himself, if not he prefers it. There are so many women in NYC that's after his money, he can't seem to trust anyone. He considers everyone an "aquiantance". He asked me to come over the other night when I was on a date with Finance guy. He then text me "are you on a date?", and I completely ignore him. The next night when I was with polish #2 he text me again. He wanted me to come over. I cut my date short to head over to French guy's apartment. He doesn't answer the door, even though I know he's home. The firemen that responded to the building's fire alarm were asking me to hang out with them, which was flattering but not okay. So I proceed to try and get in touch with him to have him open the door. After 20 minutes I'm pissed. I bang on his door, refusing to leave because he told me to come out and see him and he finally answers the door. He was in his sound studio and couldn't hear a thing. He's talking about how women are so exagerate and how they are so needy always wanting someone to be around them, wanting them, making them feel special. With as much truth there is to that, I quickly dismiss it telling him not all women are like. He's tired of women chasing him for his money...I can see it in his eyes. He's a successful guy worth millions, I can't blame him for being that way. So I tell him I just got out of a really long relationship and not really looking for anything like that. I need some space from long relationships. I need to find myself, know that it's okay not to be with someone, and really just really be independent. So I find out French guy is really kinky. We start fooling around and he asked me to give him Head. I was like "i'm not giving you head" until I get an orgasm. That's right, I said it. This isn't going to be one of those moments where I'm doing all the grunt work only to find that I'm not getting an orgasm. You see, French guy is used to getting what he wants...but I really don't give a shit. I have my needs and my needs to be fulfilled. So we stop doing what we're doing cuz he's too tired to keep going. Wondering if he's got some sex issues. I don't think he can satisfy a woman. Not really sure, but he keeps avoiding it. So I tell him the deal. I'm at work and he text me "can you suck me dry"....he love's talking dirty. I text him "not until I cum". He text me "whatever". So obviously he's looking to get satisfied without reciprocation, which isn't okay with me. I text him "whatever yes or whatever no". Still hasn't responded. Anyhoo, now I'm giving him space. He has to know it's not okay. I confident with myself enough to know that I need to be satisfied. So that's where I'm at. I know my obsession with French guy is fading, but it's still there. Not really sure if I'm just trying to keep busy because I don't want to be bored. He is Mr. Big from sex and the city. The only thing that confuses me is that he loves to cuddle. If he really didn't need anyone, then why is he cuddling with me all the time. He loves the company and I see it. Why are women and men so different? Can he really be that into himself, or are there just some underlying insecurities that cause him to act in such a way?
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