Lost in Men

Since my breakup I've been lost. Keeping myself busy with dating, sex, and binge drinking. Doesn't sound healthy. I woke up this morning thinking a little bit more clearly. There's points in my life where see the road so clearly and other times where I'm just lost in a haze. At this point in my life I need to take control and wheather the "storm". I need a game plan. I need to be able to control my emotions, and charter them to make me productive. I shouldn't have to rely on men to keep me occupied. I want certain things in life, and I need to figure out how i'm going to get myself together. I realized, I'm looking for a man to fill a void of having my boyfriend of eight years. Here's the plan. I'm going to concentrate and pass my license. Then I'm going to look for another job doing what I love best, finance portfolio managing. I'm going to learn to speak french and go to Paris for a month between jobs. "Just do it"~my motivating statement. I've got nothing to loose and no one to stop me...what am I waiting for? If a man happens to come along, then it'll happen. Guys are so emotionally unavailable, I can't wait for someone to feel for me or get me where I need to be in life. If I want something, I have to get it myself. This is going to be fun and a challenge.