Good Bye French Guy

Okay it's been a day and still no response or any effort to contact me. I've been misserable all day. Whinning and complaining about how he's not getting back to me. I've even texted him "dissapeared?" and still nothing. What ever, call me neurotic but I couldn't take the hard blow to my ego. If I don't hear from him all week, then forget it. I'm going to miss being cuddled. I don't understand why I'm so worked up about this. I've known him for a week. A week ago, I couldn't have cared less if I ever even met him. I'm so quick to attach myself to someone. So I went online and started the entire process all over again. I'm trying to fill up my social callendar. I emailed this guy who lives in Astoria and he wants to meet up. I believe I'm going to call him Director. French guy should have been called "Mr. Big" referencing sex in the city's Mr. Big. Completely unattainable! I think I was in love with him cuddling, being able to talk about finance, his penthouse, arrogance, drive, and height. Aside from that, I really don't think It would have gone far. I'm secretly hoping he calls me, but then moving on to see what else is out there. I'm making plans with the Director as I write this blog, going to happy hour with some friends on thursday, then meeting up with the guy I met at the club. On friday, I'm going out with coworkers one of which is guess bar tending at a local pub in Midtown followed by a all girl slumber party at my Co-workers apartment in Hoboken. On saturday, I'm hanging out with some other friends and going to some horse race preppy tail gait "The Hunt" in NJ. Then I'm going to study for my securities license on Sunday. I think I should do a search on Finance guys, that way we'll always have something in common. You see when I go out with the Lawyer, we really don't have much to talk about except our social life. Can't really get into an intellectual conversation about what's going on with the markets, what type of investments are good for the momment, etc... I'm really frustrated, and pissed he didn't call. Now it's time to move on.

The Game II

Okay, I was a good girl and didn't call or text French guy all weekend. I get a text today, saying "dissapeared?" I go on to comment about how hectic my weekend has been and that I got a lot done. He then text me "waiting for you to come c me!" and I text back "sorry sweetie. How about tomorrow? I've got a date with my gym tonight". It's was killing me to write the text. I wanted to go see him, but like I mentioned before I have my red week this week. How sexy would that be? He doesn't text me back, I called him 2.5 hours after the last text, but he doesn't answer my call or text. What the heck?! I'm not sure what to make of this. He's driving me insane. He's the one who's suppose to go bananas not me. When I'm out with other guys, all I do is think of him. I don't want him to think that I'm at his beck and call and he can have me whenever he wants. But it seems like that has backfired. Or maybe he's still playing the game. He's so used to getting what he wants. Unfortunately, I still feel like he needs to know I have my own life. He mentioned how he likes independent women, well I'm being independent. I've scheduled to start working out with my girl friend, hanging out with my friends on friday and sat and going to the Opera with my other good friend next week. Am I doing this wrong? I know he's annoyed that I picked the gym over him. Well I tried texting and calling. That's all I'm doing for now...I'm not calling him till he calls me. I made the effort to try and reschedule. It's a little push and pull. He needs to meet me at least half way. He had the opportunity to call or text me all weekend, why is he putting it out there like I'm the one who's been ignoring him? I'm used to being on the other side, the one who's being pursued. I'm not backing down, I give a little, now he needs to give a little. I'm not playing tug of war with him or my emotions. I'm so frustrated.

What drives a man?

Today I had another date with the Lawyer. He text me yesterday, and make plans to see Body of Lies with Leonardo di Caprio. I haven't talked to him since our last date, a week ago when we had sex at his place and Polish guy over hears everything through the phone. So we're watching a movie and he starts getting touchy feely, holding my hand, kissing me on my head and lips, small signs of affection. He's looking cute in his sandals, cargo shorts and northface jacket. Today mother nature droped by and gave me her monthly present, so I knew I things weren't going to go far with this date. We grab a pizza to eat and hang out at his place. I'm sure he's thinking he's going to get some tonight. We're hanging out and he starts to kiss my neck, says we should hang out in his room because it's cooler. We're laying there on his bed and he starts to make out with me, touching my breast and thighs, slowly pressing his body towards mine. He's a great kisser. I knew what he wanted. We have this raw chemistry between us. Either that or I'm just really horny. We're making out kissing and he starts to do pet me in the "area". I didn't want to just come out and say "oh no can't do that, i'm on my red day". How gross is that?! So I keep telling him that I'm too sick from this cold and tired from my weekend. He's very persistent, to the point where he tells me "you don't have to do much, just lay there". How romantic! I keep telling him no, but can't help but kiss him back. He tries to stop himself, but then picks right back up where he left off. Constantly trying to get in my pants, grabbing my ass, telling me he likes my lace undies. Then he leads my hand to his privates. That's when I knew, he wasn't going to stop and the only thing that could stop the situation from happening is me leaving. So I tell him that I have to go, and he's begging me to stay. Talk about booty call. Oh whatever, I'm not that into him relationship wise so I don't take offense. I wish I didn't have my period, that way I could have gotten some and that would have post poned me thinking about the French guy all week.

The Game

I don't understand why women of New York are forced to play a game with the men they're involved with. I can't stop thinking about French guy, all I want to do is call him or text him, but I hold myself back from over doing it. Told myself this friday not to call or text him. Let him make the move. I want him to think, I've got a life outside our rondevou sleepovers. He mentioned in passing that he likes women who are independent. I'm going to take up pilates, study for my license on sundays, and take up some other sport to keep myself busy. I can't stop thinking about our last meeting. I went to victoria's to buy some flattering undies, slept over his place (without sex), and cuddled all night long. The last thing he tells me is "bye baby, have fun at work". I don't want to end up being the girl he just cuddles with. Then again, winter is comming around and I'm looking for someone to hybernate with. Wait, I don't even think he's going to be here this winter. He said he goes to Miami for the winter. It's funny how after seeing him for the first time, I didn't think there was attraction, now I can't stop thinking about him. He's very well dressed, tall, slightly handsome and confident about everything he says. So this is how I'm going to play the game. I'm not going to call until he calls me. I'm not going to give in to having sex until our seventh meeting. I'm going to keep our conversations light, mostly about finance (something we have in common). I'm going to do some subtle flirting. Keep buying nice undies, smell great, dress well, and keep myself in shape. I didn't get waxed down there for nothing! Appear to be available, but never be available. The goal is to make him go bananas. In the meantime I'm going to keep myself busy with dating, exercise, studying and sports. Speaking of dating, I'm seeing Lawyer guy again today and I met another guy at some club last night exchange phone numbers. This is going to be fun!

Challenge him or give in?

I canceled my date with the Cop because french guy wanted to hang out and cuddle some more. I meet him at his place and all we do is watch TV and make fun of the people on there. I'm not sure what he's getting at. He knows I'm sleeping over again, but we haven't had sex. It's weird, he wants me to hang out, sleep over and not have sex. I swear to you, I wanted to rip his clothes off the momment I walked in the door of his fabulous penthouse apartment. I play it safe and just act like a prude. He tells me that he's had a few girls just sleep over in the past and most he's never had sex with. For some odd reason, he plays it in between. He fools around and touches me in a flirtatious way, but doesn't want to do it. It's driving me insane. He tellls me I'm such a good catholic girl, who's not kinky and I think he's into it. I don't understand. He's cute, super smart, tall, handsome, and definitely has his life in order. He's got an amazing lifestyle. Travels every three months to europe and other parts of the world. Has a crazy penthouse apartment with his own rap around patio over looking a 180 degree view of the city. Makes insane amounts of money, in the same industry as me and can talk for hours about things I'm interested in. The only thing that bothers me, yet turns me on is that he's completely arrogant, opinionated sometimes a dick. I'm not sure what to make of it. I really like him, but not sure how to get him. I don't want to just sleep with him. I want to keep him around a little longer to find out if there's real potential to have a relationship with him. I figured, I'm not going to call or text him all weekend, even though I really want to. I'll let him work for it a little. I hate playing games, but men and women have been playing these games for centuries. Granted, there are certain relationships where things just fall into place, but this isn't one of them. We're both looking for a challenge, but not over the top where the other just doensn't seem interested. It's funny because we'll go to bed and all I wear is his t shirt and my undies and all he'll wear is his boxers, yet we're not having sex. I can't wait till then. In the meantime, I got my legs waxed and am scheduling to get a landing strip bikini wax. Figured, have to keep things nice and tidy down there. Scared of the pain I'm going to endure. Maybe I'll take a vicodine before my waxing tommorow. Do guys like it brazillian or do they prefer a little hair down there? Should I give this guy a challenge or just give in completely? Things are on fast forward so I don't want to rush it and have him get tired of me or worse, vice versa. I would like a guys perspective on this if possible.

Infatuation

What a week/weekend it's been. On friday I went out with Lawyer guy and we all know how that went. Then Sunday came around and I went out with French guy. Omg...the guy is extremely loaded. French guy who had blown me off three dates in a row before meeting me decided to email me while he was in Europe and made plans to meet when he came back to the city. Show's up in his mercedes SL worth more than I make in three years. We go to dinner and he's going on and on about how he doesn't eat anything non organic. He's pretty cute 6'3'' french, and did I mention loaded. We were suppose to go out for drinks, but he quickly changes his mind and wants to have dinner. We're hanging out at his place watching TV and just cuddle...ahhh...I love cuddling. I get home only to take a shower and change to go meet the Cop on our fourth date sunday. He's so nice and so sweet. He's totaly boyfriend material. He's always hugging me, kissing my forehead and telling me how attractive I am. What girl doesn't like attention? Seven and a half years in a monogamous relationship with barely any sex made me go buck wild now that I'm dating. I sleep with the cop and it was only so so. I mean he's a really nice guy...what am I doing? He calls for a car at 5 in the morning so I can make it home, shower and change to get to work by 830. I proceed to work 11.5 hours and next thing you know, french guy wants to see me afte work. OMG, where do I get the energy to date back to back? I hang out with french guy afterwork till the next morning, and all he wants to do is cuddle. He's sarcastic, opinionated, and definitely gets his way all the time. We cuddle all night and before I know it i'm sleeping at his place. No worries...all he wants to do is cuddle...thank God...I really didn't have energy to do anything else. I'm torn, I have to imagine that these guys are doing exactly what I'm doing...so I shouldn't feel bad about having a little fun catching up on everything i've missed out on the past several years. Online dating is definitely time consuming. It doensn't matter who's asking who out...everyone wants a second, third or fourth date. It's always "lets go out for drinks, then they quickly change their minds and trick you to grabbing dinner, more drinks and then coffee. I'm beggining to see a pattern. I think I'm torn between the Cop who's super sweet and nice and French guy who's totaly cute, challenging and well off. Hmm... what do do? Great as i'm writing this blog...the cop said he's taking some time off to see me tommorow and French guy text as I'm making plans. I'm definitely curious as to how this is going to pan out...i have to remember to turn my phone off when I'm on a date. Last thing I need is to have my phone call either one of them while I'm with the other.

Good Bye Polish Guy

Okay so a lot has happened since the last blog. I went on a date with a lawyer...totally hot body, definite potential. He graduated from a top ivy and went to a top law school, he's around my age and he's tall. I know I made a note to self not to sleep with a guy on the second date, but I just couldn't help myself. So I go up to this guys appartment and we have drinks, watch a little tv and start making out. In the mean time my iphone is in my purse. I go to grab my tiny purse and didn't realize that my phone called Polish guy. He listens in on my conversation/makeout session with the lawyer for 40 minutes. We start fooling around and one thing leads to another and we start having sex at his apartment. He has a really nice body, chisseled, tanned and toned. We wake up every three hours to do it again. It was good but not as good as polish guy. Little did I know Polish guy is listening in on the whole thing. I'm walking the walk of shame the following morning, and get a text from Polish guy saying that he knows I was out the night before and it sounded like I was having a great time. He then proceeds to text me how I wasn't being honest and that I got caught. I'm completely in panick. I start thinking about the rules, what are the rules to online dating? I automatically assume that if you're on the site, you more than likely dating other people. We never had the "i'm exclusive" talk with Polish guy, so I don't understand why he's so upset. Maybe talking to him every day wasn't a good idea, led him to believe that we were serious. I'm so confused, I don't know what to do. I don't think he's ever going to call me. I'm going to miss our conversations. We talk for at least 30 minutes to an hour every day. I might be going crazy. I've never been single before I might be going a little over the top with the whole online dating thing. I'm dating all these guys, but feel only a few have real potential of being a boyfriend. So I'm seeing where this goes. I'm sad that Polish guy isn't going to be around.